When You Say Nothing At All
by Sopphires
Summary: Slight spoilers 7x17,The Born-Again Identity. Dean tells Cas he's forgiven the only way he can; by saying nothing at all.


_**Okay so there are loads of fics about Cas' return and I figured I'd just give it a go. I stuck as close to what'll happen in the ep as I could. **_

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or the song. _**

**_Enjoy!_**

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><p>Dean was waiting for Cas to get out of the shower. He sat on the empty motel bed, his eyes fixed on Sam's sleeping form. Dean didn't know whether Sam was well or not, he hadn't really said or done much, but – judging by his still form and steady breathing – his dreams were undisturbed. In normal circumstances Dean would be in the pub, downing a beer in the name of another successful hunt, but these weren't normal circumstances. For one there was Sam's near comatose state to deal with and the secondly there was Castiel's unexpected, though not unwelcome, return.<p>

In all honesty it was pure chance that they'd found him again. Dean had been going frantic; Sam had lost it completely, screaming in agony and yelling at Lucifer, so Dean had done the only thing he could - taken him to a hospital. There they'd sedated him and it looked like Sam was gonna end up in a mental institute unless Dean could stop it. So he'd begun the phone calls. He rang _every_ goddamn hunter he could get the number of and finally, finally, he'd found someone. A healer who lived nearby. He was miracle worker. Normally Dean's mind would have been riddled with insecurities, suspicions and doubts but there wasn't time; Sam was counting on him.

Dean had driven out and, to his complete and utter confusion, found Castiel. Dean hadn't known how to feel when he saw the angel of the lord standing before him, looking as confused as Dean felt. Any warmth or happiness or even relief that Dean had felt, vanished when Cas had only blinked when Dean had told him Sam was dying. Then he found out the truth. Cas didn't remember them. He didn't remember anything before waking up in a hospital bed. He was a John Doe. But Dean hadn't cared. All that had mattered to him had been saving Sam so he'd told him, in as level a voice as he could manage, that they _were_ going to get into Dean's car and _he_ - Cas - was going to fix Sam. Cas had looked so scared, which freaked Dean out quite a bit, that he complied without question.

Their hospital visit was short. Many of staff knew who Cas was, greeting him cheerfully as "Mr Doe" or "John", and he'd nodded politely back at them, a small smile on his face. The nurse that had been watching over Sam had almost fainted in relief at the sight of Cas and began babbling about how Sam's heart rate was far too high for someone on sedatives and she was worried he may he have a heart attack. Dean had run his hands over his face but Cas had walked over and, at Dean's instructions, placed his hands on Sam's temples. There was a long moment of silence. Then the monitor beeped slower. The nurse had called the doctor and he said that whilst it wasn't perfect, he wasn't _healed,_ it was a start. But that wasn't good enough for Dean, he needed Sam back _now_. Dean had pulled Cas out the room and demanded he do more but Cas had just shaken his head, saying it was a 'one-touch-wonder', that there was nothing more he could. So Dean did the only thing he could. He yelled.

Now, Dean _had_ been happy to see Cas again, he really had been, but he was still angry over Sam's wall and Crowley and purgatory and being lied to, this wasn't even mentioning his stint as God, so he'd yelled at him. Cursing his name to the god that had long since forsaken them. He'd yelled so hard staff had come running but Castiel had been…noble. He walked away, head held low, convincing everyone _not_ to arrest Dean. The saddest thing about it all was that Cas didn't know what he'd done. Was that Cas needed Dean's help, but Dean was tired. So he kicked him onto the curb.

That had lasted all of half a day because the Leviathens had tracked him down. Cas, though no longer an angel, had turned out to still be a dab hand in a fight and without him Dean knew he would certainly be dead. That was how, after everything that had happened, the ex-angel of the lord had ended up in the shower in Dean and Sam's motel room, washing off the blood that came with the job that they'd done. Dean was still filthy but as Cas had done the actual deed Dean had decided that it was only…polite to let him go first.

However, after twenty tedious minutes, Dean was beginning to regret that act of kindness. Cas, despite being completely clueless when it came to the references Dean had been using to insult him, seemed to have learnt the importance of hygiene. He had been a human for God only knows how long, literally, and appeared to have understood the basic functions of human life but not, apparently, in the right order. As far as Dean could tell the, now human, Cas considered washing to be of higher importance than eating, sleeping and drinking.

Dean and Cas had not talked about what Cas had done for several reasons. For one, there just hadn't been enough time between meeting, Sam, arguing, nearly dying and Sam, again, for a casual chat. The other was, up until they'd landed themselves back in hospital, Cas had had no idea of it all and when he did remember he seemed to have picked up on his desire for no 'chick-flick' moments. In fact Cas seemed to have picked up some tact from his time as a human as he had yet to mention the lack of Impala though there had been an awkward moment when he'd asked after Bobby and Dean explained, gruffly, of the old hunter's death and Castiel had looked away, guilt and shame sparkling in his light blue eyes.

All in all their time spent together had been done so in silence. Dean knew that Castiel was wary of him, as if he half expected him to turn on him and stab him; this saddened Dean because he could _never_ kill Cas. Asking Death to do it had been hard enough because that Cas had been not the one that was like his brother, but this one – although a human – was. That was why he knew, though he was still mildly pissed off with him, he couldn't actually harm him; lucky Cas.

Dean would not be sitting semi-comfortably on a motel bed without Cas. Dean had tracked the Leviathen's to a warehouse and had been amazed to see them holding the ex-angel hostage. He had been beaten to a pulp but, when Dean had landed himself in trouble, he seemed to break himself free and, at Dean's yelled orders, lobbed the Leviathen's head off. He'd returned from dumping it in a haze and then freaked out over Dean's injury. His injury wasn't bad, in fact it looked like a grazed knee compared to the walloping Cas got, but Cas had been far more troubled by it than the blood that was pouring from his right temple. He'd been hazy and confused and attempted to heal him. He kept putting his fingers to him and cursing when there was only a small change. In the end Cas had ended up rocking backwards and forwards in tears at his loss of Grace. Dean didn't know if Cas remembered this, he'd fallen into unconsciousness a minute later, and was rather foggy when he came back around in hospital but Dean was certain he'd seen Cas at his most broken, _ever_. The idea of Cas _crying_ simply boggled his mind and for life of him Dean knew he would never tell _anyone_, not even Sam, what he'd seen. Dean became aware, then, that a piece of him had gone with his Grace. That when he'd fallen he must have suffered immeasurably. That he was going to be punishing himself for the rest of his human life. Now Dean didn't deny that Cas deserved punishment, what he'd done was wrong on so many levels, but seeing him like that… Dean didn't think it was right but, again, he knew he'd never say a thing about it. It was up to Cas to snap himself out of his mental funk and realise that he shouldn't give up just yet. Dean, for one, _needed_ Cas. If Cas was half the hunter he was than the world could use him. He was still needed and Dean wasn't going to turf him out, which was what he knew the angel was waiting for.

He was still waiting for it despite the fact that Dean had been sitting in his hospital room when Cas had come around. He'd blinked groggily and looked around. His eyes locked with Dean's and he'd sat upright. Dean, who had been startled by the sudden movement, leapt up holding out his hands to stop him getting up. He'd opened his mouth and apologised. Dean barely had time to register it before Cas was ripping the wires out of his arm and leaving. Dean, because Cas should _not _be walking around in his state, chased after him. His heart rate rocketed when he saw Cas march to Sam's bed and place a hand to his temple. Dean had watched, baited breath, until Cas removed his hand and the machines indicated that Sam's heart rate had stabilised. Dean's eyes had gone wide, and moved over to the bed, resting a hand on the side. Sam had stirred and blinked up at Dean and then Cas, his eyes had scanned the room and Dean had known he was looking for Lucifer. He seemed to sigh before looking up at Cas. He mouthed wordlessly before collapsing and as Dean had begun to panic, he snored. Cas had elicited a small smile and touched his forehead. Dean had watched him intensely, Cas took his hand away and shook his head; he was out of mojo. He'd used his last up for Sam.

Dean knew he ought to be grateful beyond belief, and a part of him was, but all that he could _really _think was that Cas had deserved that because he'd broken the wall in the first place. Though, ringing inside of his skull was Cas' promise; that he'd fix it the moment he could, and he'd done it. The first thing he'd done, after apologising, was to keep it, to redeem himself to Dean. Dean hadn't been sure how to react. The car journey, apart from being filled with awkward silences, Sam had been asleep on the backseat, head on Dean's lap, and Dean had been inspecting Cas' driving - Dean would never tell him this but he was a pretty good driver, though he went _so_ slowly round corners.

The bathroom door opened. Dean looked up and was surprised to see Cas standing there in a pair of Dean's clothes. Dean opened his mouth before realising that all the clothes Cas had on him and been covered in blood - Dean had deemed it unsafe to go back to Cas' apartment - so it was natural for him to get some others. Dean noticed how his eyes flickered first to Sam and his posture relaxed a little when he saw that Sam was sleeping soundly. Then he noticed Dean's gaze and his eyes flickered to his own appearance, guilt there when he raised them back to Dean. He opened his mouth to apologise but Dean shook his head. There was something in the way he'd looked at Sam, so much concern and regret, and the guilt.

He walked over to him and clapped him on the shoulder. Cas' eyes met his and Dean gave him a small smile. He had no idea what was gonna happen anytime soon. Right now Dean reckoned his life was still shit but it was nowhere near the all time low of just two days ago. Sam would be up soon, Dean didn't know how he'd be when he was like that but he had Cas. He had someone else to rely on, maybe it wouldn't last forever, but he was here now. He was here when Dean needed him. He guessed that was what really mattered. He clapped him on the shoulder, the contact was brief and he could feel the way Cas shifted underneath it, unsure whether this was a good or bad thing. Dean continued to smile lightly and Cas relaxed.

Within a few seconds Dean had passed into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. The moment the door closed Cas let out a small smile. He walked across and sat on the bed Dean had just vacated. Almost subconsciously he reached across and checked Sam's pulse; normal. He let out a sigh of relief, he touched his shoulder almost gingerly. He knew what that meant. He sighed again. He was getting another chance. How?

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><p><em>The smile on your face let's me know that you need me<em>

_There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me_

_The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall_

_Y__ou say it best, when you say nothing at all_


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